Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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