Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
