Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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