babies were throwing up all over the place
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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