I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
