Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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