Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
