He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
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I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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