Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
