Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
