did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
