16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
