I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
