She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
