If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
