Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
