I hate your face
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
