This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
