I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize