man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
