I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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