hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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