i barfeds in our rink
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
