wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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