So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
