He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
then he tried to convert me to islam
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
