My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize