Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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