Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
