no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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