Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
