Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
