Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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