epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize