we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
