yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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