Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize