I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
