I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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