i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
