oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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