I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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