Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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