Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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