If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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