Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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