Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
