I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Randomize
