I'll bet she douches with gravy.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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