youre lurking in front of me
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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