What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
