can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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