How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
