i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize