kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
