just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
