so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
