I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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