Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I am naked and annoyed.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
