Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
