It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
