Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
they need to just BURY HIM!
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
