But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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