My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm at about main and main street
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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