the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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