no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
