Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize