I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
